The case of Jaden's missing daddy!

Today was a rough day for us. At about 430 this morning both of my children woke up.  I couldn't tell you why. Max always wakes up so that is nothing new, but Jaden usually sleeps 10 plus hours a night.  Not last night so of course being the sucker I am for that gorgeous face I let her climb in bed with me.  Then we end up getting up late because mommy is so tired.  Baby duty every night and he woke up twice last night not his usual 1 time.  I can't remember the last time I got a full night of uninterrupted sleep.  Its times like these I wish my husband was home.  Anyways so we wake up late and Jaden just seems in a funk.  She is eating breakfast slow, getting dressed slow, putting on her shoes slow.  I asked her what is wrong and she says " I miss my daddy."  My heart is breaking by this time and she asks "mommy can you just stay home with me today?'  After my heartbreaks the second time I explain that I can't and we set off for the baby sitter's house.  Thank goodness there are other kids there she was so happy to be able to play we didn't have our usual crying fit that happens when mommy leaves for work.  Thankfully work made my day go fast, but after was a nightmare.  I had to pick up Jaden's Halloween costume ( after 8 thousands ideas for a costume she finally picks Snow white)

I can't wait to take her trick or treating, I just hope it warms back up a bit or we will be going out in our parkas lol.  So I get the costume and I forget that today is the day I pay the baby sitter.  I get in my car thinking I gotta stop and get cash and low and behold someone has literally siphoned the gas out of my tank.  I just put in 30 dollars yesterday .  I wanted to cry.  So now I have to stop get gas again grab cash and oh yeah Max is out of formula!  By the time I get to the sitter I am 30 min late.  Thankfully she didn't care I think she was just happy to be paid.  I grab the kiddos and pile them into the car.  Jaden immediately is asking questions about my husband.  I told her that I got pictures that someone sent me (really they are on his groups facebook page) and I would show them to her when I get home.  She knows Daddy left for the Army I just thinks she wants to make sure that still the situation so she asks me "where is daddy?  I miss him and he is never home!"  (heart breaking again) I explain he's in the army and has to do some very important training and this is where it hits me how upset she truly is he's gone. She tells me " Daddy is in the Army and is never coming home for me" at this point she starts balling.  My heart has now been shattered.  How could she ever think daddy wasn't coming back for her. At this point I want to cry with her.  I told her of course your Daddy is coming home for you.  He will be here for Christmas.  I also told her we will get to go see him before Christmas and that he will look a little different, but that he can't wait to see her.  This got her to calm down and finally she says Mommy can I draw daddy a picture and send it to the army.  Just like that she's happy again.  We got home I showed her all the pictures of Alpha CO including the ones of her dad and she is on cloud nine the rest of the night.  She also drew him 3 pictures of which she put in the scanner so they could be sent.  LOL  We send pictures to my grandmother this way so now she thinks that how we send them to everyone.  So precious.  57 more days till we get to see him. 

Pictures and a phone call!

So I kinda knew going into today that I may receive a phone call from my husband.  He left last week for BCT and spent the last 6 days in processing.  I knew the newest company would be beginning BCT on the 19th so I put two and two together and figured this would be the company my husband was in.  Knowing this and reading all the things people have posted on facebook I kinda had a feeling today would be the day.  I had my phone attached to me like white on rice all day. Of course that's not that much different from any other day of the week seeing as I am addicted to my blackberry. I waited and waited no call, then I had to go to work.  Just my luck 10 min after I get to work he calls my cell phone which I am not allowed to have on the sales floor.  Lucky for me we had previously talked about what he was to do should he not reach me on my phone.  He was a good man and called me at work like I asked.  Just one tiny problem.  I was standing there talking with my BOSS! I have only worked for this company for a week so getting personal phone calls that aren't emergency not such a good situation for me.  I answered the phone and he said Hi.  At first I didn't know who it was because it didn't sound like him.  Then he said "Its me" I was so surprised I said OH! really loud and my boss is looking at me like who are you talking to.  The call lasted all of 30 seconds in which time I managed to get out HI, how are you, and I love you too and he was gone.  My boss still dumb founded by what had just taken place asked me " who was that?" I explained to her that I hadn't spoke with my husband in nearly two weeks and that it was a great privilege for them to get to call.  I explained that I told him to call me at work should he not get me on my cell and she seemed to be ok with it.   Back to the call.  So after we get off the phone I start analyzing every second of the call.  I noticed his voice was very shaky like when he heard my voice he started to tear up.  Of course my mind running wild I start worrying and then I want to cry, but I can't cause I'm at work and my boss is already looking at me like I'm nuts.  I'm thinking is he ok, does he want to quit and come home.  Are they treating him badly?  I'm so scared for him.  Of course that's all I think about the rest of the night at work. Then on my way home I was getting a fix from my blackberry and I noticed that the company I assumed he was gonna be in had new pics up that said meet your drill Sergeant.  The minute I got home I raced to the computer and sure enough my husband was in one of the pictures!  I was elated and completely forgot all about him sounding upset.  I love all my facebook sites like U.S. Future Soldier Family and Amry wife support group. They give you so much good information and you meet people.  As I am looking at pictures and posting things I come across a lovely young lady names Tia. Her husband is also in Alpha company and what does she tell me.  That there is a site for Ft. Benning reception Battalion and that they have pictures too!  I go and look and sure enough my husband is in 4 pictures.  Some he is even smiling.  This took a huge weight off my shoulders.  Thank you Tia!  Tia was also awesome enough to give me the address, so I can actually send the letters I have written my husband.  Now I can happily wait for the next call which I am assuming will be in 3 weeks when they switch over to the next phase!

My child woke up this morning and her mind was missing

I've noticed since my husband left my 3 year old (Jaden) has been a brat.  I'm not gonna sugar coat it she has been a big pain in my rear the last week.  I know that she is getting used to daddy not being around and this is probably how she is letting me know she doesn't like daddy being gone, but I'm gonna lose my mind if this keeps up much longer.  Everything is a temper tantrum.  I told her last night that I couldn't play hide and seek with her till after dinner and she lost it!  She cried and through a fit for almsot 15 min.  We had a big problem with temper tantrums in the past and so when she has one she immediatly goes to time out until she calms down.  She had been doing so good lately calming down within 2 min of being in time out, but now not so much.  She worked herself up so much she was sweating.  Once she calmed down we found something for her to do, but that 15 min is rough.  Then last night before bed she asked if she could sleep with me.  I told her no not tonight.  She lost it again! Her and my son share a room and he was already in bed asleep. I had to physically pick her up off the floor and take her in my room.  Lucky for me it was a quick one and we compormised.  I told her I would rock her ( one of her most favorite bedtime rituals) and then she would go to bed in her bed.  I knew if I could get her into the rocking chair with me that she would leave it asleep and I wouldn't have to fight about who's bed she slept in.  I was right she was out within 10 min.  Which brings me to this morning.  For some reason at 5:30 she comes into my room wakes me up and says "why did you close the door on me!" like I had just come in and closed the door.  I told her to go back to bed and she said she doesn't want to she wants to get up, so again I compromise.  I told her how about you get in my bed with me and go back to sleep she agreed.  When we finally do get up she took it upon herself to get on the computer and start playing her nick jr. games.  She has been told many times that before she plays she has to ask.  Well she didn't and she was told to get off the computer.  Melt down city!  She just kept screaming and crying. I put her in time out in her room and she spent almost 30 min screaming and crying and kicking.  I tried multiple times to calm her down and it just didn't happen. I finally told her I"m gonna close the door when you calm down you can come out and we will go have breakfast.  It took her a half hour, but she finally calmed down.  What would you do in this situation?  She's lost her mind and in the process I'm losing mine as well.  58 days till BJ is out of BCT!! 

Was hoping to hear something by now

I know I've been told a million times not to expect a phone call from your spouse while they are in BCT, but I went on the Ft. Benning website and found the company he "should" be in as long as all went well in processing.  I then found their website and it says that they allow a 5 min phone call to family's the day your SIT (soldier in training) starts basic training.  So I was hoping that would be today because that's when he should have started, but nothing.  Of course it does say they won't start till the 19th which is two days away so I guess I should just learn some patience.  This is the longest my husband and I have ever gone without talking or seeing each other since we have been married.  I miss him so much and by the way my daughter has been acting out the last few days I can tell its taking a toll on her as well.  Thank goodness I've been busy with my new job.  Its helped to pass the days a little quicker.  The only problem is I feel so guilty every time I leave my kids.  My daughter screams and begs me not to go.  It breaks my heart. 
I've decided to start walking again.  I've been so tired lately and notice it has gotten worse since I stopped.  I used to walk by myself, but with my husband being gone I'm pretty much have no choice but to take the kiddos.  I love my stroller, but by the time  you put both kids in that darn thing weighs at least 60 lbs. Thats a lot of pushing especially because my neighborhood has got a ton of hills. No pain no gain however. 
I made my appointment yesterday to go get my ID card.  I can't wait!  I feel like that will make this whole thing real.  I will be able to take the kids to the doctor or I can go to the doctor if need be.  I can also get Jaden into the dentist.  She is almost 4 and never been.  I feel like I'm the worst parent on earth for that reason.  Well I have a ton of homework to finish and a test to take.  Till next time. :)

The first week.

My husband left for BCT (Basic Combat Training) on Monday.  I felt like the weather knew how my mood was because it rained all day.  I woke up early knowing that I had just a few short hours left, so I wanted to eek out every minute I could.  We had breakfast and just kinda sat around.  Around noon I took him to the recruiters office and said our goodbyes.  I could tell he didn't want anyone to see us say good bye because he asked me to park a ways down from the recruiters.  He hugged me goodbye gave me a kiss and said I'll see you soon.  I knew I couldn't lose it while he was still in the car.  I didn't want him to leave with that picture in his head.  He got out and opened the door to the back seat and then said goodbye to our two little ones.  Jaden ( 3 year old daughter) hugged him as tight as she could and told him she loved him.  She knew he was leaving for a while, but I don't think she grasps how long he'll really be gone.  Max (our 7 month old son) smiled happily in his car seat.  He closed the door turned and walked away.  I watched him until he was in the recruiters office and then I left, tears streaming down my face.

I had been preparing for this day since April.  My husband had a rough time of getting into the army.  When he first made the decision to join he was about 60lbs over weight.  It took him over a year to finally get down enough that they would allow him to sign his contract.  When he had finally signed and had a date of when he would ship it felt like it would never come.  6 months is what we had to wait for him to leave.  It could have probably been sooner had he picked a different MOS( Military occupational specialty), but he was really interested in learning the ins and outs of fixing some type of machinery.  He was so excited the day he came home and told me he had picked 15R (Apache helicopter repairer).   So we waited 6 months. That felt like forever until the day he left. 

That evening he called me and let me know he had made it to the hotel.  If your husband or boyfriend or fiance hasn't left yet you soon learn that they make them stay in a hotel the night before the actually get on the bus to go to reception.  I was able to talk to him a few times that night which was nice.  The next morning he went to MEPS (military entrance processing station) resigned all his paperwork and then was shuttle off to the airport to get on the bus.  Yes you read that right they took him to the airport to get on a bus lol. I talked to him a few times that day before the bus made it to his final destination Ft. Benning, GA. At about 1140 that evening I got what I though would be that one last call at least for a while.  3 maybe 4 min long.  Hey I am here and they are getting ready to take our phones so I don't know when I'll get to talk to you again.  I love you and please tell JJ and Max that daddy loves them. 

Lucky for me the next evening I got another 3 min phone call.  I was so excited, but what I was hoping for was the address to where I could send mail.  That was the first thing I asked and was informed that I wouldn't be getting that until he was done with processing.  He told me that they'd gone over all his paperwork, took copies of all our documents and that he had received his new uniforms.  He then informed me that on his first pay check 300 dollar would be taken out.  I asked for what and he told me that they take it and put it on a card for them to use to buy supplies like tooth paste, soap etc.  In the background I could here the other men talking to their families one even saying I love you.  Finally I heard 2 more min from the drill instructor.  We said our good byes and I told him I loved him and that I knew he would do great.  The one thing I've always been told is to stay positive for them.  Don't bring up anything negative that is going on at home.  What does that mean?  I'm afraid to tell him how much I miss him, if I haven't slept because of our son or anything.  So what do you talk about? I guess it doesn't matter all that matters is that I got to talk to him and I know he's OK.  The last phone call was on Tuesday and I've been glued to my phone since.  I'm so worried I will miss his call especially when I'm at work.  At this point I suppose I won't be getting another call for a while. 

I am not the most patient person and I've been waiting for days to hear something or get something in the mail.  I want to know when I can get my ID and when can I start taking our kids to the doctor. Max is way over due for a well baby check up.  I asked around and finally was told how to check if we had been entered in to TRICARE which of course meant we had been entered into DEERS (Defense Enrollement Eligaility System).  There is a phone number you can call that tells you if your covered under your "sponsors" (i.e. soldiers) social.  I called yesterday and we are finally covered.  Now I just have to wait for the letter from is commander so that I can go down to the CDC in Atlanta and get my military ID.  You have to make an appointment which I've done for a week from now.  I figure I should have my letter by then and if not I'll just push the appointment out a few days. 

I feel like our journey has finally started.  He is doing his training and I am holding down the fort at home.  I'm crying at least once a day, but its getting better.  I'm excited at the prospect of what our life is going to be like and I can't wait to continue the journey. Sorry this was so long I just really want anyone getting ready to go through this to know what its like step by step so maybe just maybe they'll be prepared as much as you can be.  One mistake we have already made is not getting a POA (power of attorney).  Without one I can't do a whole lot when it comes to debt in his name or finding things out, but lesson learned and I'll see if I can get one and send it to him so he can sign it and send it back.